LOST SPARKLE

Tell me i'm not wrong when i say i've lost my sparkle

The sparkle that i never even noticed

Till its not longer there

I scrolled through old albums

I tell myself in place of it comes wisdom

But who am i kidding

I'm as lost as i was then

There are bigger problems in the world

I know

But allow me for a minute

To wallow in self pity

Because i am an adorer

Of all things pretty

But in that moment of self pity

And exhaustion

And lack of motivation

A sparkle glimmers

In the corner of my eye

I turn and look

And there the sparkle lies

In the beautiful eyes

Of two little girls

And a little boy :)

GRATITUDE JOURNAL

Disclaimer : This is a post i drafted in August 2021. Saja post lah simpan sini. Simpan dalam draft je buat pe.

----------------------------------------------------

Benar kah kalau kita manusia yang bersyukur, kita tak akan ada masa untuk rasa tak puas hati? Takkan ada keinginan untuk complain? Huaa..adakah aku manusia yang tak bersyukur? Astarghfirullah.

The truth is aku takut sangat jadi orang yang kufur nikmat ni. Aku boleh dikatakan ada segalanya. Bukanlah nak kata hidup aku perfect, tapi sesungguhnya apa yang aku ada ni confirm ramai yang nak. Healthy kids, suami yang bertanggungjawab, stable job, food on table, roof over my head. So apa je yang tak cukup (yes, ada je yang tak cukup..manusia kan).

But semenjak lama sangat berkurung kat rumah (PKP), aku macam nickpicking semua benda rasa tak kena. Tapi kadang aku nak menjiwai rasa tak puas hati aku tu pun aku takut. So aku tolak dalam2 perasaan tu sebab aku takut aku kufur nikmat. But they say if you keep things bottled up for so long, will it not burst in the end?

So to which end should i go?

OF MY VALUABLE SUNSHINE

Assalamualaikum, last i wrote was almost a year ago pasal morning sickness. Heheh..

That morning sickness has now turned into a lovely little being named Larissa (Persian for Valuable)
Born in April, i never knew I am capable of loving another human being with all my heart. Don't get Ummi wrong, Laiqa. Still love you, will always do. LAiqa pun sayang sangat adik dia.

What's up lately?

Workwise, last June 2017 marked the third year of working in Sabah. And I've moved to another department. A much better, exciting albeit a bit tiring department..hehe..ada ja nak complaint kan ko dil. Tiring sebab the job is rather physical and jauh sikit dari rumah. Tapi I am grateful. I am no longer bored..hehe. Constantly on my feet and hari-hari kena study because it's way out of my league. But, the truth is I work best under minimal pressure..haha. Kalau high pressure I shut down gak..ZZZ

Rasanya macam lama lagi kat sini, since kami pun taktau nak pindah mana lagi what with both of us kampung pun sorang nun sana sorang nun sini. Kahwin dengan orang jauh, anak pandai-pandai orang tua kata..hehe (nak sedapkan hati bagi syiok sikit). Masuk 3rd year ni rasanya baru macam comfortable sikit adapt dengan life kat sini.

Just writing, for the sake of updating ;)

See ya.

BEFORE YOU'VE WALKED A MILE IN THOSE SHOES

Everyone fights their own battle. In this age of showing off everything on social media, it seems like the grass is always greener on the other side. Nampak macam life si fulan tu indah rainbows and unicorns je memanjang. And blame it also on your selective viewing.

So, before you compare or give advice yang unwarranted. Walk a mile in their shoes dulu.

Whats with the rant, Didil?

This bout of morning noon night sickness sometimes gets the best of me. And aku down. Seriously down when i can't function like a normal human being. With a toddler summore. Sedih tengok Laiqa nangis nangis nak attention, want me to pick her up, play with her. Rumah dah tak kemas as how i like it to be. All i could do is lay in bed and try to sleep off the nausea, if Laiqa lets me. And kesian my husband have to do everything especially cooking, and I've snapped at him countless times sebab stress tak boleh bau macam2 especially his deodorant. Haha.

Yang menambah stress bila ada yang say things like "Ala, banyak lah bergerak uruskan anak semua nanti tak la fikir sangat sickness tu". "Perasaan je tu, kena lawan sikit" Hmm, and i see you pregnant makan setong dengan bahagia sampai berat terlebih, boleh la cakap camtu. Bahagian masing-masing. Ko tak rasa ko boleh cakap. Maybe you mean well. Tapi, no thanks. Keep it to yourself sebab i wasn't even complaining to you. I was simply terbaring lesu minding my own sick self and you came and ask whats wrong.

Sekian la rant mak buyong. Bersyukur dengan rezeki ni bukan tak bersyukur. But i wish this phase cepat la berlalu sepantas kilat. Please, Ya Allah. Make me stronger.

THE SECOND YEAR

Assalamu'alaikum.

16.06.2016. Cantik date today. Which also marks the 2nd year of me working here. Boleh ke if I rant a bit here? Not to be ungrateful. I mean, I'm so blessed compared to 70% of the world (stats were made up but whatevs)

These days makin lama I get even more bored with what I do. Macam tak ada job satisfaction or motivation. Setiap kali I enter my office door this whole gush of depression would overwhelm me. Is it normal? I mean, all in all I've only been 6 years in service. Orang kerja Gov sampai 30 tahun semangat je aku tengok.

Sometimes rasa macam slowly semua achievement work related sebelum ni has dwindled to nothing. Datang kerja for the sake of gaji. Gaji pun simpan je only for absolute necessary things. Shopping pun tak de apa sangat.

Down.
 
On another note, today is the 11th day of Ramadhan. So, for now..am just going to concentrate on being a better muslimah la ye.

End of my rant. Must do something productive.

Selamat berpuasa. K bai.

FEBRILE SEIZURE

Alhamdulillah. Laiqa dah masuk 1 year 2 months a couple of days ago. And to make it more momentous, it was spent in the hospital. She had a fever hari isnin lepas masa 16 Mei 2016 (Teacher's Day) which spiked up tetiba and kena febrile seizure on the way to the hospital. Hm. Total days warded was 4 days kat Hospital Tawau.

Febrile seizures are convulsions that can happen during a fever (febrile means "feverish"). They affect kids 3 months to 6 years old, and are most common in toddlers 12–18 months old. The seizures usually last for a few minutes and are accompanied by a fever above 100.4°F (38°C).

While they can be frightening, febrile seizures usually end without treatment and don't cause other health problems. Having one doesn't mean that a child will have epilepsy or brain damage.

About Febrile Seizures

There are two types of febrile seizures:

1. Simple febrile seizures are usually over in a few minutes, but in rare cases they can last up to 15 minutes. During this type of seizure, a child's whole body may convulse, shake, and twitch; his or her eyes may roll; and he or she may moan or become unconscious. Children can sometimes vomit or urinate (pee) on themselves during the convulsions.
2. Complex febrile seizures can last more than 15 minutes or happen more than once in 24 hours. They may also involve movement or twitching of just one part of the body.

Source : http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/febrile.html

In Laiqa's case it was a complex one sebab it happened twice within 24 hours. Alhamdulillah, bila baca dia tak ada kaitan dengan epilepsy or brain damage (which were among my worst fear when Laiqa had the seizure). Doctors and nurses pun relax je handle Laiqa after she had the 2nd seizure masa kat hospital. Ummi je gelabah lebih hanya Allah yang tahu perasaanya masa tu. Thank you nurses kat Childrens' Ward Hospital Tawau yang jaga Laiqa masa tu. After the seizure, Laiqa just baring really still on the bed with her eyes wide open. And it really broke my heart. Terubat hati bila nurses usap2 Laiqa and called her name. It felt like someone else cared too besides me. Maklumla masa tu duduk kat ward jaga Laiqa sorang2.

Nak cerita kronologi, tapi macam malas nak taip..heheh..yang pentingnya after this if she ever has a fever, I can no longer afford to go the natural way of just letting the fever go away on its own dengan pemantauan sendiri. Wajib menggelabah secara terkawal..heheh.

So here's a list of the do's and don'ts bila handle febrile seizure. Ummi kena take note sebab once dah kena, there's high probability boleh kena lagi should you have another fever. 

What to Do

If your child has a febrile seizure, stay calm and:

• Make sure your child is on a safe surface, such as the floor, and cannot fall down or hit something hard.
• Lay your child on his or her side to prevent choking. This is especially important if your child has a lot of saliva coming out of the mouth.
• Watch for breathing problems, including any color change in your child's face.
• If the seizure lasts more than 5 minutes, or your child turns blue, it may be a more serious type of seizure — call 911 right away.

It's also important to know what you should not do during a febrile seizure:

• Do not try to hold or restrain your child.
• Do not put anything in your child's mouth.
• Do not try to give your child fever-reducing medicine.
• Do not try to put your child into cool or lukewarm water to cool off

Source : http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/febrile.html

Apa-apa pun Ummi berdoa semoga Laiqa takkan kena lagi febrile seizure ni and mampu handle demam dengan baik. Semoga Allah kurniakan kesihatan yang baik untuk anak Ummi yang baik dan solehah ni. Aminnn..insyaAllah.

Ummi sayang Laiqa.

Assalamu'alaikum.

p/s : hilang cincin kahwin masa kat ward. Sedih ;(

MY LAIQA

Been a year since i last wrote. Selalunya bila tak banyak menulis ni sebabnya there's so much going on in the real world.

So what happened?

Laiqa happened. Thats what :)

Alhamdulillah. Masyaallah. Subhanallah.

I have a daughter now. I am a mother now. Rasa macam sangat priveleged to say those words. And syukur sangat pada Allah to have been given the chance.

I began this post sebab nak mengabadikan kenangan of my 1st born. Tapi as i'm typing these words pun i am at lost. Not for lack of things to say. But there's just so many emotions when I say her name that words just won't do justice. Heh, corny much? ;P

Sekarang cik Laiqa is almost 11 months pun. Which means soon the momentous one year mark will come. Wish i had written sooner. Tapi biasala, 1st time Mommy..kalut haih urus anak. Urus diri. Urus suami..haha..

The feeling of being a mother? Bagi aku, it puts a lot into perspective. Baik duniawi or ukhrawi. When there is a little being so dependent on you. Dunia ni would stop being all about you (at least for me la yang hari2 emo tak tentu hala). And dari segi ukhrawi you so badly wants to be a better person, a better muslimah. Sebabnya..kau nak jadi contoh terbaik untuk anak kau. Kau nak dia membesar jadi anak solehah yang jadi tiket kau masuk syurga. InsyaAllah. Amin.

Lain kali cerita lagi. Assalamu'alaikum.

REVIEW PREGNANCY CHECK UP IN TAWAU

*UPDATED MARCH 2019*

Okaylah..since aku hari2 complain(dalam hati) bila google for info untuk stuff in Tawau ni macam tak berapa nak ada. Aku buat keputusan apa salahnya aku yang mula dulu. Lagi pun aku ni cepat lupa semenjak dua menjak ni. So kena tulis la kat mana-mana sebagai kenangan.

Back to the topic. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant. Which means in about 2 weeks lagi insyaallah I'd be 8 month preggy which is the last stretch of pregnancy yang berkadar linear dengan tahap kecuakkan aku..eheh.

So far aku check up and scan baby merata-rata jugak la depends on masa and di mana aku berada masa tu. For routine check up i chose government clinic which is Klinik Desa Tg. Batu Darat, sebab bagi aku dia more thorough and sistematik (and opkos free). Cuma problem untuk aku, sebab appointment time die strict kena ikut time diorang and masa menunggu agak panjang. Pastu kadang-kadang dapat doc lelaki, so macam we as Muslims should avoid lah kan - kalau mampu.

Okay, so aku list la tempat-tempat antenatal checkup yang aku pernah gi kat Tawau ni from the beginning :

1. Klinik Dr. Anina, Belakang Pasar Tawau

I went to this clinic atas reccomendation mommies2 ofis masa ni baru sebulan duduk Tawau masuk bandar pun sesat barat lagi. Aku gi sini untuk confirmkan pregnancy aku yang masa tu 5 weeks baru (padahal da terang-terang sampai dua stick aku test ada double line..heheh) 

So, masa aku pergi memang Dr. Anina yang jaga. In terms of ultrasound equipment dia memang tiptop and nampak macam state of the art. Why the word 'nampak'? Sebab aku bukanlah pakar sonographer untuk tau menda alah tu latest ke tidak..hehe. Caj dia masa tu around rm80 i think skali dengan vitamins and whatnots.

Dari segi interaction pulak, aku rasa biasa2 je la sebab maybe tak ada apa sangat doc nak explain kot awal2 pregnancy. But masa tu i kinda wished she advised me more and cakap tahniah ke ape ke macam dalam drama tv3 petang-petang tu..tapi die macam boring je nak layan aku..haha.. kbai berangan. 

Aku pergi sekali je check-up kat sini. Sebab apa? Klinik ni sangat la popular di kalangan mommies bawa anak-anak kalau lambat penuh dia da macam klinik kerajaan dah masa 2nd time aku datang. The 2nd time datang tu around pukul 11am dia dah suruh datang petang. And nak cari parking area tu punyalah hazab. Oleh kerana masa adalah emas, dan aku sedih emas aku terbazir just like that on that day,aku tak datang dah kat sini setakat ini.

By the way, Klinik Dr. Anina ni ada 3 cawangan. Satu kat Hotspring and lagi satu kat Jalan Abaca. Aku pernah pergi cawangan kat Hotspring doc nye lelaki so tak jadi jugak pergi sana.

2. Klinik Martati, Tawau

Dah nak masuk 12th week baru lah aku pergi scan lagi sekali nak tengok keadaan anakanda ku buat kali kedua. Serius busy gila and masa ni aku banyak travel and 2 kali naik flight balik semanjung and back here.

Total of times aku datang sini, 2 kali setakat ni..scan masa 12th week and 20th week. Chewah, aku ni memang ikut milestsones aje. Org lain scan sampai tiap-tiap minggu. Sorry baby, mummy bukan tak nak selalu tengok awak tapi mummy ni traveller. Tak banyak masa nak memanjang jumpe doc.11 flight dah mummy bawak awak so far. I hope you're doing just fine, dengan izin Allah.

Dekat sini, for me Dr. Martati ni memang besh and baik la..senyum and dia macam turut happy sama2 dgn kita bila cerita pasal pregnancy milestones kita. Cuma location wise - susah parking and no offense, tapi klinik ni macam suram sikit and a bit on the old side. Tapi aku okay je la gi sini, cost around rm30 - 60 kot scan and checkup basic.

3. Klinik & Surgeri Dr. Norliadi, Taman Univilla, Tawau

Okay sini aku tak pernah check up baby actually. Check up diri sendiri je masa 1st trimester pasal Hyperemesis Gravidarum aku tu. This clinic yang paling dekat dengan rumah and ease of access terbaik. Parking senang and klinik ni ada aura baru. Aku tak tau dia bukak since bila.

Sini tak silap ada scan 3d/4d gak for baby and dr. Norliadi ni sangat peramah and baik and tak lokek with the explaination. Lokek MC maybe ;p And ramai jugak ibu2 bawak anak datang sini, aku tengok. So, insyaallah once Ickle One is born, leh la kot bawa dia datang sini for anything.

The one and only downside, Dr. Norliadi ni is a man.. so aku tak comfortable untuk scan bagai di sini. Kalau u olls jenis tak kisah, no problemo.

4. Putra Medical, Bandar Tawau

This one is the latest clinic aku pegi before cuti panjang end of year haritu and nak dapatkan surat untuk naik flight coz aku dah almost 28 weeks time tu. Saja nak try sebab nampak cam sangat professional dari luar. Haha. Alasan cenggitu pun boleh.

Resident doc kat sini female, Dr. Suriany tak silap nama dia, so one box of preference checked. Dari segi equipment and layanan pun sekali ni aku pergi memang best. The doc pun explain macam2 which is a plus point untuk orang berat mulut macam aku ni. Scan je xsilap aku kena rm60 cmtu..a bit on the expensive side.. tapi gambar scan dapat sampai 3 and dia scan heartbeat baby skali :)

Other than that aku tak leh cerita sangat sebab baru sekali berjaya pergi. But di kalangan kawan2 opis memang popular la klinik ni cuma malam and weekends selalunya bukan doc ni yang jaga. Usually ada doc lelaki. Itu yang aku dua tiga kali pergi tak jadi scan kat sini. So, before register, you should ask.

The downside plak, sini parking pun sama susah macam Klinik Anina. Sebagai kesimpulan aku boring ekceli fikir pasal kesesakkan parking kalah kl in tawau ni..zzzzz..eh, terkeluar topik. heheh.

--------------------------------------------------------

Okaylah, so far that's the 4 private clinics i went to sepanjang preggie kat sini. Nak harap pergi klinik atas sebab selain pregnant memang dari dulu jarang sesangat2. I'll update should there be any changes. Haha. Macam lama lagi je ape skang nak jadi orang Tawau.

Take note also ni personal oppinion. Lain orang lain preference kan..just sharing yeee..

UPDATE

K..so aku decide untuk update lagi post ni sebab ni antara post paling banyak view untuk blog yang dah mati ni..hehe. But I'm glad dapat tolong orang yang google benda2 ni..

Untuk pengetahuan skang dah nak masuk anak ke 3 dah pun kat Tawau ni. Kengkonon dari anak sulung lagi aku cakap nak pindah kan..hahaha..Aku masih setia pregnancy checkup utama aku kat gov clinic. Semenjak da pindah ni aku dah check up kat KKIA Kubota tu. Tapi aku ada favourite Private Clinic yang baru..

5. I-Care Clinic, Batu 3,Tawau

Sini resident doctor dia is Dr. Hannah Wong. Aku suka gi sini sebab parking tak sesak almost always senang je..Clinic pun tak sesak and sgt tenang. Anak2 pun kalo demam aku bawak dtg sini je. Scan tahun 2019 ni i think was rm80. Lupa nak tgk details sebab aritu sekali dengan vitamins was RM100. Aku ada gak threatened miscarriage masa awal pregnancy and Doc Hannah ni sangat2 understanding and aku suka cara dia bercakap dgn aku. Kena cucuk kat butt masa theratened misscarriage tu tapi sbb dia sembang2 and make light of things aku pun xjadi nak sedih2 sangat. Alhamdulillah baby still okay till now.. Aku notice orang punya search word 3d/4d scan baby in tawau kan. Tapi I Care pun xde benda tu. Tapi tu la..aku buat detailed Scan ni bila dah 3 rd tri and aku buat dgn pakar la more to utk detect any abnormalities dari saja je nak tengok muka. And opkos aku buat kat semenanjung sebab aku selalu balik and sana mmg bsepah 3d/4d ni..just take ur pick.

Kalau u guys ada any reccomendations or suggestions mana2 lagi Private Clinic yg offer 3d/4d and best untuk pregnancy checkup kat Tawau ni please leave a comment. Boleh la bantu2 juga Mommies2 lain yang mencari kan.

Till then, Assalamu'alaikum and ciao.

TO LOVE AND TO HOLD, TILL DEATH DO US PART

Title is a western marriage vow. Most probably tiada kaitan langsung dengan entry. Heh. I was thinking of an informative blogpost. A recipe, a review or something. Tapi malas nak fikir. I just needed to write.

Today marks the 6th month I've worked here in Tawau. No closer to feeling at home and at ease yet. I blame in on the pregnancy hormones though ;p

What i could tell you I've learned though, online information for finding stuff or places here in Tawau are still way left behind. I was so used to just googling everything that it sometimes frustrates me not to be able to do the same here. Bloggers pun maybe tak ramai kot kat sini. Most establishments kat sini don't even own an FB page.

Well, i might be picking on small irrelevant issues there. Not complaining. But still thinking on what to do. Maybe after the baby I'd update infos and tips here if I have the energy and time.

For now though, I'm just missing home.. where there are Big Bad Wolf Book Sale and Baby Expos..hahah..cuti and tiket semua tak kena time expo best2..

Assalamu'alaikum. Till we meet again =)

MY BLOGGER DASHBOARD

Scroll blogger timeline saya. Or whatever it is called. Macam tak meriah macam dulu. Nak kata tak banyak follow blog..hmm..i used to blogwalk a lot back in the days. So try la bukak balik blog-blog yang i follow dulu.

Oh.

Ramai dah senyap. Dulu memang saya banyak follow yang seangkatan, umur sebaya-sebaya. And they sort of quit blogging after marriage and kids.

Oh.

Tu je la nak cerita. And most probably i would disappear from here too? haha..not to say saya rajin sangat menaip kat sini. Tapi dalam setahun tu mesti ada 2,3 post kan? (kecuali 2013 ada satu je..haha..one of my busiest year trying to build a career which i totally forget about in 2014..kroh)

Oh. Okbai.

TRAVEL QUOTE

"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next to find ourselves. 

We travel to open our hearts and eyes and learn more about the world 

than our newspapers will accommodate. 

We travel to bring what little we can, in our ignorance and knowledge, 

to those parts of the globe whose riches are differently dispersed. 

And we travel, in essence, to become young fools again- 

to slow time down and get taken in, and fall in love once more." 

Pico Iyer

PUASA DI TAWAU

Sebagai seorang newly-wed perantau di tempat asing yang cost of living agak tinggi nak banding Sabak Bernam, haruslah langkah penjimatan kronik bermula.

The thing is, we spent so much on the wedding and nak mulakan hidup baru where almost semua benda kena beli lain since tak boleh bawa most things dari kehidupan lalu dek kerana perlu merentas lautan. Datang Tawau pula, it turns out a meal for two kat restoran biasa2 pun almost rm20. Sheesh. This is not complaining, this is just stating a fact. Elaun kerja tinggi = cost of living tinggi.

So, about two weeks duduk sini before Ramadhan we ate out. First week sebab tak dapat rumah sewa lagi (rumah kat sini juga mahal. almost like pinggiran kl dah range dia). 2nd week sebab tak ada rice cooker and dapur lagi. Eceh..macam banyak alasan pulak ;p And jadi kesian kat husband sebab dia habis duit kat makan banyak sangat padahal yours truly ni sokmo tak habis makan-patutla-kurus-cikeding-sepak-terpelanting. So the solution memang kena masak and makan dirumah sekerap mungkin. And Alhamdulillah, sampai 5th day Ramadhan masih belum beli lagi lauk berbuka. Yeay!

After the 2nd week, nasib baik ada kawan husband nak jual dapur and tong gas. And bermurah hati lagi pinjamkan rice cooker, sementara kami tunggu hadiah-hadiah kahwin sampai dari Semenanjung (dah lebih sebulan. Kapal delay..sobs) Maka bermula episod main masak-masak dengan husband :)) I say this sebab beliau sangat rajin masuk dapur and laju je bila bab nak masak-masak ni. Alhamdulillah. Panggil 'beliau' sebab macam geli je nak guna panggilan manja di khalayak ramai. Mihmihmih~ 

So balik kerja around 5pm sampai rumah terus kami lumba-lumba masuk dapur and usually by 6pm siap. Which leaves us aroud 20 minutes before Maghrib. Another thing to get used to here, sahur pkul 4pagi and berbuka around 6.20pm. Bangun nak prepare sahur pukul 3 pagi ++. And nak kena solat subuh before 6am. Pegi kerja around 7am da kena gerak. But that's another story la. This blogpost is about Puasa in Tawau la Didil!. 

Here's some pictures just in case one day gambar-gambar ni hilang due to unforeseen circumstances. Kenangan Ramadhan pertama bersama suami di Tawau, Sabah. I love pictures and memories :)

1 Ramadhan : Ayam Bakar with Air Asam and Sayur Air

Model tetap saya ;p

2nd Ramadhan : Ikan Kerisi Bakar (hangus and pecah2 sikit sebab main balut je pakai aluminium foil bakar atas dapur..hahahaha) + Air Asam + Kangkung Udang Kering

3rd Ramadhan : Asam Pedas Kerisi + Kangkung Goreng

4th Ramadhan : Kerapu 3 rasa + Kangkung Masak Kicap (kangkung lagiiiiii..haha..beli setimbun da macam 10 orang nak makan..gasak lak nak menghabiskan)

Husband ku sedang makan kurma itu sunnah untuk berbuka. Kurma Yussof Taiyob yang sedap.

Why suddenly rajin update blog? Sebab saya tak nak lupakan kenangan mula-mula hidup di Sabah ni..hee.. Okbai. Assalamu'alaikum.

BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND

Puan Didil =)

Assalamu'alaikum and hey..

Let's write something before workload starts raining all over.

Guess what? I'm no longer peddling my wares in Sabak Bernam. Profession masih sama. 'Cept that now I'm in the land below the wind. Whew, who would've guessed kan. Things happen. You plan and you expect and it turns out very, very different. 5 months ago I never would've pictured me upheaving everything and crossing the South China Sea to be here. Lesson learnt.

So, out of my comfort zone. Facing the unknown. Seriously..I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't terrified. Being the scaredy cat me who used to cry at all things strange and moving, moving out here was not an easy feat. And back home, (chewah..SB is home eh?haha) I had my circle of friends..knowing how things work and whom to trust and where to go eat..albeit asyik makan tempat sama jugak..haha. I will miss all that. Terribly.

Missing them.

Tapi my dear Didil, life is never meant to be constant. If you were to stay still, Allah would've created you as a tree kan. Syukur Alhamdulillah. So far, Tawau isn't such a bad place to be. Boleh bha kalau kauuu~ ;p

It's only June..things could change. And to embrace change is to become the wise grown up and solehah Hamba Allah you intend to be in the end. Change for the better. Because we can ;)

the main reason why i'm here :)

RESEPI UDANG BUTTER BERSAMA EGG FLOSS

Oh hiatus blog yang sungguh lama. I am addicted to a whirlwind life sometimes. Enough talk lets cut to the chase la ye.

Okie, butter prawn mudah sangat nak buat. Yang specialnya is the lovely egg floss. For one thing, masa first time mencuba make sure semua barang dah tersedia and tak ada pinggan mangkuk bersepah-sepah sebab takut time berlari2 nak tuang egg floss dalam kuali terlanggar kemudian berlaku pertumpahan. Wah, ayat 4 baris in one breathe ;p

Bagi hangpa telioq tengok duluu...

okie. lapar balik.

Anyhow, masa ajar kat kelas haritu rasanya peserta lagi hebat buat egg floss tu dari saya. akakaka. Malu ai olls. Tapi at least dapat la bahan-bahan free tajaan kerajaan kot ye dok? But let it be a lesson saya perlu lebih banyak belajar untuk tidak menghampakan orang datang shortcourse. Doakan la ya? ;)

So, here goes. As usual credit goes to resepi2 kat interenet yang saya modify ikut saya dah eksperimen.

BAHAN 

800gm udang

4 biji telur

10 biji cili padi (dicincang)

4 ulas bawang putih (dicincang) 

2 tangkai daun kari

½ tin susu cair (evaporated milk)
Garam
Lada sulah

Butter (100g)

Minyak masak

CARANYA

1. Udang dibersihkan. Diperap dengan garam dan lada sulah dan diketepikan.

2. Pukul telur dan sediakan di dalam bekas yang mudah dituang. Boleh juga gunakan acuan roti jala untuk lebih mudah.

3. Panaskan 1 cawan minyak masak dan 1 sudu butter dalam kuali. Apabila panas, ambil senduk dan dikacau minyak tersebut ikut pusingan jam tanpa henti.

4. Kemudian dengan berhati-hati, tuang telur ke dalam minyak panas tadi dan terus dikacau dalam arah pusingan jam tanpa  henti. Guna api sederhana. Apabila floss jadi golden, tapis keatas kitchen towels (tisu dapur). Ketepikan.

5. Panaskan semula minyak tadi. Tambah dua sudu lagi butter ke dalam minyak tadi dan goreng 

udang. Udang hanya perlu digoreng separuh masak. Toskan udang yang sudah digoreng tadi dan ketepikan.

6. Tumis bawang putih, cili padi dan daun kari sehingga naik bau. Kemudian masukkan ½ tin susu cair. Biarkan ia mendidih sedikit, kemudian masukkan udang. Gaul rata.

7. Tambah garam secukup rasa tetapi perlu ingat yang udang tadi sudah diperap dengan garam.

8. Gaul sehingga udang masak dan sos sekata.

9. Hidang dalam pinggan dan taburkan floss telur yang dihasilan tadi. Sedap dimakan panas.

Letak gambar cikgu kecik sikit sebab malu..haha

Cooking the butter sauce.

Cikgu! Tolong rasa, okay takk..err..saya bedal je kot asal butter and egg floss sedap oi!

Selamat Mencuba. OKBAI!

p/s : credit gambar ohsem as usual by Encik Razif

Siapa Kata

Siapa kata...
Aku tegar
Berlakon seolah aku tak punya rasa
Seolah bila kataku tidak dibalas
Aku tak apa..

Siapa kata..
Aku selamba
Bila aku cuba
Untuk menghargai
Dan kau pandang sepi
Seolah selamanya aku akan disini..

Siapa kata..
Aku biasa
Bila kau perlekeh
Bila kau persenda
Saat aku emosi
Seolah aku tak punya hati

Siapa kata..
Aku tak mahu..
Tunjuk Kita pada satu dunia..

Siapa kata..
Tapi aku cuba
Untuk senyum
Untuk teruskan
Sebab aku tahu bukan mudah terima aku seadanya
Dengan segala kekurangan
Dengan segala cacat cela sumbing binasa

Eh, siapa kata???


-perempuannakgiladahnirasanyashehastoresorttowritinginherblog- :)

LONG HIATUS

This is Jalan 5

LONG HIATUS

It was the rainbow with all the wrong colours
And the clouds the wrong shades of blue
There weren't any purple flowers
And so nobody cared or even had a clue

It was the road that seems so long and empty
It was an end that lacks a finite truth
It was the heart that beats a beat too plenty
It was the mind that always fails to sooth

Didn't have it in me to run
Didn't have it in me to give up
For every strength portrayed like a fire from the sun
There were ten million moments filled with doubt

But if you didn't love wouldn't you die?
If you didn't care then how would you smile?
Even if the world didn't turn your way
Do you really have the option..
To leave or to stay ?

'Adilah Razdwan

Yeah, you can be the king kong bangin on your chest

Motivational song, no?

Yeah, You could be the greatest
You can be the best
You can be the king kong banging on your chest

You could beat the world
You could beat the war
You could talk to God, go banging on his door

You can throw your hands up
You can be the clock
You can move a mountain
You can break rocks
You can be a master
Don't wait for luck
Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself

Standing in the hall of fame
And the world's gonna know your name
Cause you burn with the brightest flame
And the world's gonna know your name
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

You could go the distance
You could run the mile
You could walk straight through hell with a smile

You could be the hero
You could get the gold
Breaking all the records that thought never could be broke

Do it for your people
Do it for your pride
Never gonna know if you never even try

Do it for your counrty
Do it for you name
Cause there's gonna be a day

When your, standing in the hall of fame
And the world's gonna know your name
Cause you burn with the brightest flame
And the world's gonna know your name
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

Be a champion, Be a champion, Be a champion, Be a champion

On the walls of the hall of fame

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions
Be true seekers

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions

Standing in the hall of fame
And the world's gonna know your name
Cause you burn with the brightest flame
And the world's gonna know your name
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

The Script - Hall of Fame

BUKIT BROGA

Assalamua'alaikum,

Lari sedikit dari kebiasaan. Kali ini mahu post aktiviti selain dari di tempat kerja i.e memasak dan bola jaring. hehe. Sempena hari jadi ke26 tempoh hari, telah berazam mahu buat macam-macam yang tidak pernah buat. Salah satunya ke Bukit Broga, Semenyih. Why? Teringin nak buat aktiviti yang mencabar ketahanan diri. Tapi nak terus daki gunung Kinabalu memang tak lah. So, we start small ye adik-adik.

Anggap juga post ni macam guide kalau ingin ke sana =)

Kami ke Semenyih dari Shah Alam straight after tengok bola semi final Piala Malaysia yang Selangor main best tu ;p

So, disebabkan letih penginapan semalaman adalah perlu bagi kami yang datang dari perantauan ni. Penginapan yang bertuah terpilih adalah Smart Hotel yang terletak betul2 di Pekan Semenyih and about 5 minutes drive to Bukit Broga. Kami pergi ber6 - 2 guys (Lut & Epy) and 4 girls (me,atot,qiqis n gugur). So, book dua bilik. Hotelnya kire so-so lah, but it was comfy enough untuk semalaman and harga pun within our small budget (budget orang2 menabung untuk masa depan cemerlang) ;p

4 orang cute girls kongsi this katil =) *pillows cute2 tu bawa sendiri*

2 orang big boys kongsi this room. tu pintu toilet ;p

checking in.

Alkisahnya nak mendaki jam 6 pagi directly after subuh. tapi biasalah kami, being ladies of leisure. Hampir jam 6.30am baru lah dengan gumbiranya naik kereta, start kereta, tekan minyak. Haha! Orang kata kalau nak menyaksikan keindahan sang matahari terbit mesti naik jam 4pagi lebih kurang. Pendakian ke atas sahaja took almost 2 hours (untuk golongan semput macam kami). 

Ini bermakna anda akan perlu solat Subuh di atas ye adik2. Tapi, bagi saya personally di atas nun tidak berapa sesuai lah untuk para gegadis nak solat. Tiada surau. No water point. And agak muddy kalau baru lepas hujan (like the time we went). So, better la solat dulu. Just my 2 cents =')

Senang sangat cari Bukit Borga ni. By 7am memang dah banyak kereta parkir di tepi-tepi jalan (maybe sebab hari ahad yang indah). So, you'd know when you've arrived. Dia atas sikit sahaja dari University of Nottingham. Google je bro.

Then mulalah mendaki! Bismillah! =)

semua berjalan in single file sebab masa ni masing-masing takut2 lagi.heheh.

cerun!

hati2 yep!

Masa mula mendaki ni adalah seorang peserta ekspedisi kami semput (hye gugur!;p). Padahal dia juga merupakan seorang pemain bola jaring tegar kami. heheh. Nasihatnya, naik atas tak payah lah bawa banyak sangat barang. Disebabkan sesak, nak berpiknik pun susah juga. Bawa air minum sahaja lah kot dan makanan ringan. Saya naik okie je. Yang guys naik lagi lah steady meady je..tarahal.

pitstop 1. guess siapa mangsa masa ni?;p

Bukit Broga ni ada 4 peak/puncak. Tapi personally bagi saya, peak 1 tempat paling ideal sekali untuk menikmati pemandangan. Luas and segarrrrr~

before reaching peak one. Gugur dah okie!=D

This is the swing yang our Angkasawan negara, Dr. Sheikh Muszphar and his wife took their pre-wed pic =)

2 swings there now. before peak 1 tau tempat ni

kasut atas pokok. some sort of trophies, i guess.

no dslr for us ;( but we have iphones!heheh..

heart these friends 

to peak 1 we go! * check out the crowd!*

the sun has risen! subhanallah! =)

si gadis sesat di celah lalang. open for saving ;p

peak 2 or 3 behind? can't remember..heheh.

this was quite a challenging route towards the final peak sebabnya kena panjat guna tali. super fun! =DD

Finally!

The 4th peak, ruangnya agak terhad. Dengan manusia yang agak ramainya. And it wasn't as landai as peak 1 and 2. So, i guess that fell short of expectation. Expectation: Boleh pacak bendera and menjerit I did it my wayyyy! o_0 Nasib baik ada signboard as in pic tu untuk bergambar. So, tak adalah nangis bergolek2 turun broga ni. hehe.

Masa turun pun agak mencabar sebab dah keletihan dan licin. But bagi golongan cool and macho, turun sambil melompat and main tengteng juga tarahal okie. Udara di atas sangat segar dan tak tercemar.

Cumanya ada mereka yang tiada kesedaran sivik pergi qada hajat besar dekat tengah2 route. We were like trying not to puke! hahaha.. Patutnya beliau qada la hajat kat celah2 semak ke. haish! Please la, take nothing but pictures and leave nothing but footprints ya kids! Jangan buang sampah di sana. =)

Anyhow, sangat gembira kerana berjaya juga merelisiasi (cmne eja?) hajat di hati bersama ohsem friends =))))

So, pergilah Bukit Broga. Ohsem! hehe~

Sekian.

p/s : all pics credit to Atie Xiaojie and Epy Zhafri =) 

p/s/s (updated later) = ade orang cakap the peak where we'olss took d pic with the puncak broga signage isn't the highest peak. betul kah? 0_o ohmaiii/~