BEFORE YOU'VE WALKED A MILE IN THOSE SHOES

Everyone fights their own battle. In this age of showing off everything on social media, it seems like the grass is always greener on the other side. Nampak macam life si fulan tu indah rainbows and unicorns je memanjang. And blame it also on your selective viewing.

So, before you compare or give advice yang unwarranted. Walk a mile in their shoes dulu.

Whats with the rant, Didil?

This bout of morning noon night sickness sometimes gets the best of me. And aku down. Seriously down when i can't function like a normal human being. With a toddler summore. Sedih tengok Laiqa nangis nangis nak attention, want me to pick her up, play with her. Rumah dah tak kemas as how i like it to be. All i could do is lay in bed and try to sleep off the nausea, if Laiqa lets me. And kesian my husband have to do everything especially cooking, and I've snapped at him countless times sebab stress tak boleh bau macam2 especially his deodorant. Haha.

Yang menambah stress bila ada yang say things like "Ala, banyak lah bergerak uruskan anak semua nanti tak la fikir sangat sickness tu". "Perasaan je tu, kena lawan sikit" Hmm, and i see you pregnant makan setong dengan bahagia sampai berat terlebih, boleh la cakap camtu. Bahagian masing-masing. Ko tak rasa ko boleh cakap. Maybe you mean well. Tapi, no thanks. Keep it to yourself sebab i wasn't even complaining to you. I was simply terbaring lesu minding my own sick self and you came and ask whats wrong.

Sekian la rant mak buyong. Bersyukur dengan rezeki ni bukan tak bersyukur. But i wish this phase cepat la berlalu sepantas kilat. Please, Ya Allah. Make me stronger.

THE SECOND YEAR

Assalamu'alaikum.

16.06.2016. Cantik date today. Which also marks the 2nd year of me working here. Boleh ke if I rant a bit here? Not to be ungrateful. I mean, I'm so blessed compared to 70% of the world (stats were made up but whatevs)

These days makin lama I get even more bored with what I do. Macam tak ada job satisfaction or motivation. Setiap kali I enter my office door this whole gush of depression would overwhelm me. Is it normal? I mean, all in all I've only been 6 years in service. Orang kerja Gov sampai 30 tahun semangat je aku tengok.

Sometimes rasa macam slowly semua achievement work related sebelum ni has dwindled to nothing. Datang kerja for the sake of gaji. Gaji pun simpan je only for absolute necessary things. Shopping pun tak de apa sangat.

Down.
 
On another note, today is the 11th day of Ramadhan. So, for now..am just going to concentrate on being a better muslimah la ye.

End of my rant. Must do something productive.

Selamat berpuasa. K bai.

FEBRILE SEIZURE

Alhamdulillah. Laiqa dah masuk 1 year 2 months a couple of days ago. And to make it more momentous, it was spent in the hospital. She had a fever hari isnin lepas masa 16 Mei 2016 (Teacher's Day) which spiked up tetiba and kena febrile seizure on the way to the hospital. Hm. Total days warded was 4 days kat Hospital Tawau.

Febrile seizures are convulsions that can happen during a fever (febrile means "feverish"). They affect kids 3 months to 6 years old, and are most common in toddlers 12–18 months old. The seizures usually last for a few minutes and are accompanied by a fever above 100.4°F (38°C).

While they can be frightening, febrile seizures usually end without treatment and don't cause other health problems. Having one doesn't mean that a child will have epilepsy or brain damage.

About Febrile Seizures

There are two types of febrile seizures:

1. Simple febrile seizures are usually over in a few minutes, but in rare cases they can last up to 15 minutes. During this type of seizure, a child's whole body may convulse, shake, and twitch; his or her eyes may roll; and he or she may moan or become unconscious. Children can sometimes vomit or urinate (pee) on themselves during the convulsions.
2. Complex febrile seizures can last more than 15 minutes or happen more than once in 24 hours. They may also involve movement or twitching of just one part of the body.

Source : http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/febrile.html

In Laiqa's case it was a complex one sebab it happened twice within 24 hours. Alhamdulillah, bila baca dia tak ada kaitan dengan epilepsy or brain damage (which were among my worst fear when Laiqa had the seizure). Doctors and nurses pun relax je handle Laiqa after she had the 2nd seizure masa kat hospital. Ummi je gelabah lebih hanya Allah yang tahu perasaanya masa tu. Thank you nurses kat Childrens' Ward Hospital Tawau yang jaga Laiqa masa tu. After the seizure, Laiqa just baring really still on the bed with her eyes wide open. And it really broke my heart. Terubat hati bila nurses usap2 Laiqa and called her name. It felt like someone else cared too besides me. Maklumla masa tu duduk kat ward jaga Laiqa sorang2.

Nak cerita kronologi, tapi macam malas nak taip..heheh..yang pentingnya after this if she ever has a fever, I can no longer afford to go the natural way of just letting the fever go away on its own dengan pemantauan sendiri. Wajib menggelabah secara terkawal..heheh.

So here's a list of the do's and don'ts bila handle febrile seizure. Ummi kena take note sebab once dah kena, there's high probability boleh kena lagi should you have another fever. 

What to Do

If your child has a febrile seizure, stay calm and:

• Make sure your child is on a safe surface, such as the floor, and cannot fall down or hit something hard.
• Lay your child on his or her side to prevent choking. This is especially important if your child has a lot of saliva coming out of the mouth.
• Watch for breathing problems, including any color change in your child's face.
• If the seizure lasts more than 5 minutes, or your child turns blue, it may be a more serious type of seizure — call 911 right away.

It's also important to know what you should not do during a febrile seizure:

• Do not try to hold or restrain your child.
• Do not put anything in your child's mouth.
• Do not try to give your child fever-reducing medicine.
• Do not try to put your child into cool or lukewarm water to cool off

Source : http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/febrile.html

Apa-apa pun Ummi berdoa semoga Laiqa takkan kena lagi febrile seizure ni and mampu handle demam dengan baik. Semoga Allah kurniakan kesihatan yang baik untuk anak Ummi yang baik dan solehah ni. Aminnn..insyaAllah.

Ummi sayang Laiqa.

Assalamu'alaikum.

p/s : hilang cincin kahwin masa kat ward. Sedih ;(

MY LAIQA

Been a year since i last wrote. Selalunya bila tak banyak menulis ni sebabnya there's so much going on in the real world.

So what happened?

Laiqa happened. Thats what :)

Alhamdulillah. Masyaallah. Subhanallah.

I have a daughter now. I am a mother now. Rasa macam sangat priveleged to say those words. And syukur sangat pada Allah to have been given the chance.

I began this post sebab nak mengabadikan kenangan of my 1st born. Tapi as i'm typing these words pun i am at lost. Not for lack of things to say. But there's just so many emotions when I say her name that words just won't do justice. Heh, corny much? ;P

Sekarang cik Laiqa is almost 11 months pun. Which means soon the momentous one year mark will come. Wish i had written sooner. Tapi biasala, 1st time Mommy..kalut haih urus anak. Urus diri. Urus suami..haha..

The feeling of being a mother? Bagi aku, it puts a lot into perspective. Baik duniawi or ukhrawi. When there is a little being so dependent on you. Dunia ni would stop being all about you (at least for me la yang hari2 emo tak tentu hala). And dari segi ukhrawi you so badly wants to be a better person, a better muslimah. Sebabnya..kau nak jadi contoh terbaik untuk anak kau. Kau nak dia membesar jadi anak solehah yang jadi tiket kau masuk syurga. InsyaAllah. Amin.

Lain kali cerita lagi. Assalamu'alaikum.